“Pace yourself” was the phrase that changed the course of my life a few years ago. By 2016, life was good and moving steadily forward. I was settling into four years of marriage with two children, ages one and under, and one on the way. I was learning to be a better husband and a father. Workwise, I had so many plans in mind ready to be fulfilled. My duties at the church were increasingly demanding more responsibility, and I was up for the challenge. My role as a palliative chaplain was firm, and the work I did, coordinating a missionary agency, was thriving. Being that busy only gave me a nice dose of adrenaline and a sense of daily accomplishment. About five years earlier, I knew something was missing in my life, and I knew what it was. Since I was a very young fellow, I wanted to produce my own creations. I had a wealth of ideas that were crying out to be materialized. So, I stepped by faith into the art scene and within a few months, I had become an artist in town.
Oh, how I loved everything that was happening at that time! I had big plans to transform my art into many products, from towels to cutlery to serviettes to dishware. I started to design patterns, positioning myself to soon produce those designs and eventually live off their profits.
But then, it all came crumbling down, and it happened very fast. Almost in mid-2016 (ten years ago), for reasons outside my power or reach, the church where I worked had to close, and I found out there was no room for me in the larger scheme of things. The next six months were very stressful, to say the least. I had been having issues with my bones, in particular the joints, but the stress accelerated the process of degeneration.
I learned, rather by force, that life doesn’t stop; it doesn’t pace-down, or wait for anyone. Children continue to be hungry; food still needs to be placed on the table for the family. The days come and go like water on our hands. Tough reality!
To add to the stress, a terrible tragedy within the elderly community absorbed my time and mind as a chaplain. And finally, within the next two years, the missionary agency where I worked had to change formats and had to let me go. These were stressful days that pressed my wife and me; consequently, I wasn’t producing art, and all the plans got shelved away. All my dreams were put on hold.
My wife saw my body deteriorate to a halt. I wasn’t able to walk, and sometimes not even able to feed myself, due to a recurring collapse of my muscles and nervous system in my shoulders and neck. This is when everything looked the bleakest. We asked the doctor to help me. Our doctor, with her always caring but direct attitude, told us that I must slow down; I must pace myself.
Now, some years later, having learned the importance of pacing myself, with two new hips, and more than three surgeries yet to have, the bleak future seems to be less powerful. I feel it is time to pick up where I left off ten years ago. The road seems to be equally difficult, but I rest in the confidence that it is in God’s heart that I would use the measure of talent He has given me to create and sustain a future for our family. We have seen His hand in our family every step of the way. I want to thank you for your support and for your interest in seeing all of these plans moving steadily forward.
Photo: 2013, before submitting my first piece to a juried exhibit. With Longtime friend Ted McLaughlin, who has been my printer since I started.